movement: mysterious

At the precise moment I was letting my toenails dry, sitting on an antique couch in a hair salon with People magazine opened on my lap when I shouted, “I want to go. Oh my G-d, I totally want to go to a Seder tonight.” Lea looked at my quizzically and did not move an inch even though I had just shouted in public. “Seriously,” I made myself as clear as I could and after a few more “Are you sure’s?” she made the call. A few hours later I was sitting in a hotel ballroom amongst total strangers enjoying some matzo and horseradish and slobbering over my Hebrew. Oy, I’ve missed my Seders.

This all so innocently came about when my hairdresser and long time friend had asked me what religion I would be over Easter. I simply answered her with the truth, “I’m suppose to be Jewish, but I forgot to sign up for the Seder that I wanted to go to tonight. I guess I’ll just be Buddhist.” While there are no parameters I’m placing on my spiritual excavation, or myself I really did want to go to a Seder. And I really did want to stick to my Jewish inquisition.

Growing up in a non-denominational, evangelical Christian Church, I had experienced a few Seders and loved every minute of them. Maybe it was at these services, held by converted members of our Church, that my yearning for Judaism took root. There is something about a Seder that makes me feel at home, settled, relieved even.

I was so over the moon about having the chance to attend a Seder that I cared not that I would be meeting Lea’s friend, her friend’s husband and her friend’s parents all for the first time at the Seder. It made no difference. I wanted a Seder. I got one.

It turns out that the parents at the table raised their daughter and my friend’s friend much like I was raised. Christian. Evangelical. And much like my parents they held an affinity for Judaism in their hearts as well. That is what led them along with their daughter and Jewish son-in-law to this Messianic Jewish Seder.

That means that throughout this Seder I would be hearing about Jesus as the Messiah. Wah? I’ve known about “Jews for Jesus,” but this was my first real experience with an actual congregation. It was strange at first to hear Hebrew language and music coincide with the idea that Jesus died for our sins. It was surreal at times and yet it felt so normal like of course Jews would believe in Jesus and continue to worship the way that Jesus worshipped. It was a new take I hadn’t thought of before. And just like any good Jesus loving sect, the rabbi asked that those who where moved by the service to invite Christ into their hearts. Oh, I felt so at home when he said that. Not in the way that I was converting on the spot, but that that is typically the ending to a speech by all good “fishers of men.”

While I wasn’t converting or converted or even attempting to fill out the visitors card, I was extremely grateful to my friend’s friend and her family for so generously welcoming me at their table. When I went to thank the parents, the mother very adamantly stated that it was G-d’s will that I be at that Seder on that night. And then she said, “He moves in mysterious ways.” I’m not sure I buy all that hooey. I do think there is something about energy and thought and bringing things to you that you concentrate on and believe in. Good or bad. Does that mean a Seder can appear out of nowhere? Apparently, yes. Does G-d have better things to do than make sure I get to a Seder? I definitely think so. But, whatever your belief I know that when this mother told me about G-d’s puppeteer hand, I heard Bono in the background crooning, “It’s alright. It’s all right. It’s alllll right. She moves in mysterious ways.”






*And yes, I am still a Buddhist.