california daydreamin'

I’m on the verge of freedom. It’s almost summer vacation and I’ll be off to California for 10 days soon. It sounds luscious and fabulous and oh so sunny. And then my second thought is, “Wait, I’ll miss two Sundays and I have to go to church.” It will all work out somehow. Even in Cali I’ll find a way to weave religion into my trip. Even when G-d has to be scheduled into an unscheduled framework there need be no tension.

Fitting in a service this weekend has been hard too. It’s 10pm on Sunday and I’ve just finished listening to a downloaded sermon by the Rabbi for a Messianic temple down the street from me. I had to miss my Meditative meeting tonight for a friend’s birthday which I was happy to do, but then came the crux of having to find something to replace that service.

I’ve gotten to used to the routine of my Sunday night sit (that’s what we Buddhist call a meditation session) and discussion that I’ve shirked the idea of looking past meditation into the dogma of other religions. It felt so exciting in the beginning. It seemed like the truth was out there and that I was on a journey to find it. And then…well, a few things happened. 1- I got a dog, 2- a 7pm on Sunday evening sit is fairly easy to schedule life around while a 7pm Shabbat service on a Friday or a 9am Christian service on a Sunday morning just becomes inconvenient (or taxing, really) and 3- I think I’ve answered all my questions. Yep, that was easy.

Now I don’t plan on giving you the answers just yet. I think you need to follow me a little more and understand how I got to where I am with all those questions. Right now I realize I’m still working on perfecting my imperfections which is to say, I’m not being a very good Buddhist. For one thing, Buddhist believe you come to Buddhism whole and just as you are. Whew, that was a close one. Next, perfecting imperfections is all kinds of not a Buddhist way to behave. But, I feel it’s a humanistic way to say I need to do a better job of living in the here and now.

The Rabbi I just listened to talked about (mentioned really) materialism and WHAM, I realized I’ve been living in that false world. I just got an iPhone today. I’ve been coveting one for months, or years but who’s counting? It’s been a long range goal that even friends knew about. When I showed up at that birthday shindig with my new iPhone out for all to see in it’s shiny new green protective cover a friend said, “I thought you weren’t going to get one until November.” Then the “story” came rolling out of my mouth. The rationalization of why I needed this thing now sounded weak even to me. So, when the Rabbi mentioned something about getting caught in the trap of the latest gadget I took a little inventory and it appears I’m sitting right on that end cap with a sign that says, “Get, Be, Do.”

I don’t need an iPhone. I don’t need half the things I’ve splurged on recently. I’ve been a little in a buying frenzy since it’s summer and I need a new swimsuit or two and a hat to go with them or two and some cute cotton shorts for “throw on” days and a shirt to go with it and belt that matches and some flip-flops that match the belt and…you get the picture.

I have just lost 40 pounds which, let’s face it, is cause of celebration, but I think I jumped a little to high when I heard my ego say, “Jump, NOW!” It’s time to go back to basics. With summer around the bend and freedom at my beck, I plan to take a real inventory of thing don’t need and things I really do. I plan to be a better Buddhist that accepts and walks in the here and now. So even though my mind is wandering a little to the California coast right now, I'm trying to focus on what is right in front of me and that little something is a good night's dream.


**If you want to listen to the sermon I listened to, you can do that here. It's the first one listed.